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KITTENS!





They are, respectively:
Penny Jr.
Buddy/Tuxedo Mask
Potato
Pirate
Rocky Raccoon

 
Gummy Worms
16th-Aug-2009 01:30 am - and i crawl back into your open arms
conflicted.
tired.
in becomes out.

i am a mess of confusing emotions and tears that won't fall.
i need to know where i stand.
blue sky
I know.
I am wrong.
I am sorry.



I spend too much time listening to Los Campesinos, like somehow the words they string together will fix this aching heart.
they don't, but i try harder.
so they sing to me,

"You walk in from your mother's balcony
Panda-eyed and freezing cold
You bury yourself in my chest to warm
I notice the goosebumps on your arms, millions
And whether it's because of the numbers of hours spent laid facedown on my bed listening to white noise, or, well, obviously it's not, I somehow manage to translate them from braille"

I shudder, I shiver, I listen deeper as though his words will soothe me.
they never do.
i feel the cold move through my body, prickling up the goosebumps on my own arms.
i breathe in, exhale.
smoke trails from the cigarettes i've been smoking nonstop.
so much for quitting, this is the third pack in a day and a half.


I know
I am wrong
I am sorry.


I blame you for my shortcomings. That isn't fair.
I am a shitty, shitty boyfriend. I have been and always will be.
It is smart to remain detached.
i remove myself from my body, watch it crumble into the thousand pieces i have been trying to keep it from.
i am sick, i am small.
i am tired, i am frail.

i am not the man you thought you fell in love with.
i am not the man i used to be.

i am not a bright-eyed boy.
i see the wrong in the world and know i cannot change it.
a day is no longer a fresh start, just a quiet, sullen awakening.

I listen to iron and wine, as though it will soothe me.
it only makes me cry.
same with sufjan stevens.
warning sign.



i am a mess of empty threats and bruises.
goodnight.
the love we think we deserve
15th-Aug-2009 10:48 pm - ugh
i am miserably sick.
i am too hot and too cold.
i have to go to hempfest tomorrow.
i would rather stay iun bed and try not to puke :/
dfkjhds i am completely miserable.
i am so miserable i am about to cry.
i can't stay up any longer.
jesus, i need to lay down.
i am too dizzy
the damn truth.
14th-Aug-2009 08:49 pm - i have never been so shaken up.
i had a horrible nightmare.
this si the creature from it:

a gorgeous, if not too thin girl dressed in a flowing white gown and a white mask with the blackest blackest eyes.
i am afraid to close my eyes.
i need someone.
the damn truth.
12th-Aug-2009 06:35 pm(no subject)
we are dancers.
this is kinda sad, i'm high and on livejournal.
god this cd started out horrible.
oh ti is continuing horrible.
since i'm higher i can understand and chill with it.
fuck reggae is some crazy shit ahahahhahah
oh god, this "reggae" is

adam sandler





"yous hould get a tatto"
"right heres ( while drawing a circle on my back)"
"it should be a circle and it should say 'life is a joke."


and im lookin for someone who can understanddd
and im looking for someone
is it you is it youu
baby youre the one im waitin forrr

someoen who i could trusts
whos heart is rightt
someone who lsitens and someone who can fall without the feeling afraid of the toupee?



we're aklll shaken n dancin.
koitttens wannana get high


upside of a desk chair and computer.
i get to move it move it move it.
im  in the chair and when i move it moves and this is fantastic, my body is elecrtics.
shit.

sorry i sound so rediculous and shiould stop writing this but i  miss you.

shit, thsi post actually was going to be about devon, and just, idk it would be understandable.

at lkeast not to you.
i always feel horrible about myself, when you say some things.
like "he never loved you."
jungle boogie

\

WANT YOU IN MY LIFEEE

DUNCE NCHCNCNCNCNCNCNCNNCCHNCHCCNHCNCTN CTCHNCCTYCHNCTCHNCYCHJCYCNJCHCNCTYGCNCHNCGCCNHCGCCNCG







jjjj.
i reach for the skkkkkkkky

 

i jsut ate an entire cake, i think.
i may or may not be eating my dr.pepper can

oh god, i am pretty sure he juust dropped oiol all over hsi foot.
boiling oil.

dr.pepper has no real taste.
its like a HIT of flavor and then a bunch of soda whater, but no one ever notices.
i am noticing.
stop shorting me on pepper, doc.

are you achinf or some bacon?
i jsut sang that to you.



fuck, you're going to hate me.
i think you, if you knew the things that went on in my mind, that would be bad.
you'd hate every inch of me, im sure.
i am still a kid, in some ways.
i need to be taken care of.
i never really got that so i want that now.
which isn't fair to you.


kfdrgh ugh
im tgonan go curl uip and pout.




fuck.
night.
im sorry im such a fucking fuck up.
fuck shit.

blue sky
12th-Aug-2009 12:15 pm - while you were sleeping:
is a very good movie and i haven't watched it inf orever.

i have been busy having fun.
Also, getting drunk and smoking too much.
I hate cops.
I hate hiding in closets all cramped up.
But i have been adventuring.
I had to hide from murderers, watched too much BONES, have bouncy little nickles from dime, and i forget what i am saying.
i am chilling with dylan.
he is chill.
\we chill.
it's how we do. we doo.
isn't that a part of a song "we do, we do-"

i need to shower.
i don't smell gross, but it's that gross feeling.
you know?
like- just gross.

dylan has on my harry and the potters shirt.
be jealous.
he stole it from my CHEST.

thats a lie, he just wanted a comfy shirt to nap in, which we are about to go do.


after i shower, o'course.

OHG the important part.
I don't like talking about VOldy, you knopw that.
But he is very, very-- you get why it was such an addiction, you know?
when he's around, things are good, really good.

but he doesnt stick around long.
or he just fucks you over againa nd again.

dylan: who are you talking about?
me:lord voldemoat
dylan: you mean lord voldemort?

me:yeah.

now he is playing with plastic things.
like yo dickkk.
OHHHH
i am slightly hung over and i still feel drunk?

oh god, so i have to take this medicine right, cause i have swimmers itch on my elbows?
but it might like, make me really sick so i have to carefully monitor myself.
lame.
we are discussing my grandma and how she once was flowers.

what is your problem?
i swear, little kids.
stop rubbing them on your body.
pink eye,chicken pox, now a cold?
jesus, you're more susceptible to illness than any three year old.

shower time!
love you and such and the usuallll.
 



Lust here.
11th-Aug-2009 08:16 pm - lets conspire to ignite
i am going to a party.
ttyl.
Gummy Worms
11th-Aug-2009 12:34 am - gone.
i'm going to bed.
night.
i won't be here tomorrow night, so, don't expect me.
not like it matters.
idk.
solitare, then sleep.
lightslightslights
10th-Aug-2009 12:17 pm - achin'
my  right arm is asleep, my tummy hurts, i am sleepy.
there are beached whales in florida, go save them honey.
psh, who needs crews of rescue workers when you can just save them with a push.
gonna go throw up/watch tv.
ily.
blue sky
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